AfriPulse
Breakups can be messy, especially when gifts are involved. One minute you’re in love and buying the LOYL a phone or a car, and the next, you’re wondering if you should collect it back.
While some people walk away and leave everything behind, others go back to retrieve every single item they gifted out of love. We asked Nigerians to share the times they collected gifts back from their partners after breakups, and their stories range from petty to painful.
“I had to tell her my family needed the house even though we didn’t” — Dele*, 31
Breakups are messy enough on their own, but they become trickier when a relationship involves shared belongings, or, in Dele’s case, shared space.
“I dated my ex for about four years. It was a long-distance relationship at first, but we managed to make it work. From the start, it was clear we were headed for marriage. She was based in Ibadan, and I was in Lagos, so we alternated visits. Things got easier when she moved to Lagos in 2023.
At that point, I didn’t want her worrying about rent, so I asked her to stay in my family’s house. It wasn’t a big deal to me because the house had been vacant since my grandmother passed away. My parents didn’t want to rent it out, and it was mostly used during Christmas when we had plenty of extended family visiting. It took a bit of convincing, but they agreed to let her stay there.
Everything was fine until early last year when we had a rough break-up. I was at fault; I cheated. I tried to apologise, even involving her family, but she didn’t want to hear it. She ended things, and I didn’t fight it after a while.
We didn’t talk for about a month after the breakup, but in that time, I expected she would start making plans to move out. She didn’t. I didn’t want to sound like the villain after everything that happened, but it didn’t make sense to keep her in the house when we were no longer together and barely speaking.
Eventually, I texted her saying my family needed the space. That wasn’t entirely true, but it was the only way I could get her to leave without making the situation more awkward than it already was.
She didn’t argue or make a scene; she just said, ‘No problem.’ A week later, she moved out. We haven’t spoken since, but every time I drive past that house, I remember how hard it was to send that message. Even if I was the one who caused the breakup, kicking her out felt like crossing another line.
Get More Zikoko Goodness in Your Mail
Subscribe to our newsletters and never miss any of the action
“I involved the police to teach him a lesson” — Ronke*, 29
For Ronke, love wasn’t about money. She had it, and she didn’t mind sharing until she realised the man she loved saw her as a financial plan.
“I’ve always been the generous one in relationships. If I like you, I don’t think twice before spending on you. When I met my ex, I knew he wasn’t doing great financially, but that didn’t bother me. I come from a comfortable family, and I didn’t get involved with him for money. I liked his vibe. He was funny, attentive, and genuinely seemed to care about me.
Naturally, I became the one supporting us. I borrowed him money several times. Sometimes, I didn’t even bother asking for it back because I knew he was struggling. My friends and family warned me that he might be with me because of my background. They used to call him ‘the project,’ but I brushed it off. I hate the idea of counting favours in relationships.
Everything changed one afternoon. I went over to his place and found him on a phone call. The call was on speaker, and I overheard his friend teasing him about how he’d ‘landed a cash cow.’ I can’t forget his response and how he said something about how he can always “scope me” to get the money. It wasn’t even the words; it was the tone.
When he saw me, he quickly took the phone off speaker, and I acted like I hadn’t heard anything. But that night, I couldn’t sleep. The following week, I sent him a list of everything he owed me — down to the smallest loan — and asked him to refund me.
At first, he laughed it off. He said I was overreacting and that I shouldn’t act on impulse, but I was dead serious. Things got ugly fast. He started ghosting me, so I involved the police. People thought I was dramatic, but I wasn’t doing it for the money. I just wanted to teach him that you can’t take people’s kindness for granted.
Eventually, he paid back ₦1.5 million out of the ₦3.2 million he owed, and I left the rest. I didn’t even need the money; I just needed him to know that I heard everything that day.
“I wanted my pound of flesh” — Jide*, 33
Breakups have a way of turning even the calmest people into petty individuals. For Jide, it wasn’t about heartbreak as much as it was about proving a point.
“One of the pettiest things I’ve ever done happened during my final year in uni. I was dating this babe, and everything was fine at first. I really cared about her, and I enjoyed spoiling her. During our relationship, I got her an iPhone, a new HP laptop, and even a small generator for her hostel. I just wanted her to be comfortable, and honestly, I had no regrets at the time.
But after we broke up, everything changed. It wasn’t an ugly breakup; we just stopped talking. About a month later, I started noticing she was hanging around this guy I’d always suspected she liked. They were going everywhere together, and it just didn’t sit right with me.
One random afternoon, I decided I was done pretending. I went straight to her hostel and told her I needed my things back — the phone, laptop and gen. She looked confused at first, like I was joking. Then I reminded her I bought all of them. That’s when it clicked.
She tried to play it cool and said I should come back the following week so she could arrange her stuff. But I wasn’t having it. I went there partly to embarrass her, and I wasn’t leaving without my things. I started raising my voice a little, and when people began to peep out of their rooms, she panicked. She quickly removed her SIM card and said she needed to back up her files.
It took three long hours, but I waited. Sat outside, scrolling through my phone, watching her run around. When she finally brought the items out, I picked them up and left. I didn’t even need them; it was pure pettiness.
A few weeks later, I sold everything and used the money to upgrade my own laptop. Looking back, I know it was unnecessary, but I couldn’t help it then.”
“My ex took the dog we got together” — Hadiza*, 28
For Hadiza, the breakup didn’t hurt as much as losing the one thing that felt like family.
“My ex and I were together for almost three years. Somewhere in our second year, we decided to get a dog — a brown Lhasa Apso. We both adored that dog. We took turns feeding him, taking him for walks, and spoiling him with treats. When we broke up, I assumed we’d share custody somehow. I know that sounds funny, but the dog was literally our baby.
The day he came to pack his things, he just picked up the dog’s leash and said, ‘Let me take him with me today.’ I didn’t argue because I thought he’d bring him back. A week passed, then two, and I realised he wasn’t returning the dog.
I called him, and he said I could have another dog and reminded me that he had bought the dog. I was shocked because I wasn’t even expecting him to pull that card on me. But I also couldn’t argue because he was right. He bought the dog, and I recall almost arguing with him at the time when I heard how much he was spending.
I wanted to fight for it — even my friends said I should go and collect my dog back — but I didn’t. I just blocked him everywhere and let it go.”
“Collecting the car back felt humiliating, but my mum wouldn’t let it go” — Femi*, 40
When Femi’s engagement ended, he just wanted to move on quietly. But his parents, especially his mum, had other plans.
“My ex-fiancée and I dated for about three years before getting engaged. We’d been through a lot together — long-distance, job struggles, family drama — so I genuinely thought she was the one. When she called off the engagement, it broke me.
The car became the problem. I bought it for her when we got engaged. It was nothing fancy, just a small Toyota she could use for work and errands. After we broke up, I had no intention of collecting it back. I gave it to her because I loved her, and I didn’t see the point of trying to reclaim it.
But my mum had other ideas. She kept saying things like, ‘So she’ll just drive around in your car after disgracing you?’ I ignored her at first. Then she started hinting that her own car was giving her problems. I knew where the conversation was headed.
One Sunday evening, she brought it up again in front of my dad. She said if I didn’t need the car, she needed it because hers was faulty. My dad didn’t say much, but I could tell he agreed with her. Before I knew it, the pressure became constant.
In the end, I gave in. I called my ex and asked her to return the car. It was one of the most humiliating things I’ve ever done. She didn’t argue, she just said she figured it would happen. I collected the keys and left, but I felt small.
I handed the car to my mum the next day, and she was so happy you’d think she’d won the lottery. I can’t even lie, it hurt me that day, but looking back now, I’m glad I collected it. Not for revenge, but because at least it’s serving someone who truly values it. And weirdly, it gave my mum the closure she wanted, even if it wasn’t the closure I needed.”
“She came to collect the washing machine she bought me mid-laundry” — Tolu*, 28
Tolu didn’t think breakups could come with vindictive energy until his ex showed up unannounced with a mission.
“My ex and I lived together for about a year before things went south. We weren’t officially married, but it felt like it. She bought a lot of household items because she always went on and on about comfort. She bought a TV, a freezer, a gas cooker, a washing machine, and even a blender. I didn’t think we needed some of those things yet, at least the really expensive models she always went with, but since she had the money to spare, I didn’t complain. When we broke up, we were still being civil. We’d both agreed to give each other time to move out.
Then one Saturday morning, I was doing laundry when she showed up with her cousin and two hefty-looking guys. I was halfway through washing my clothes, and she just walked in like, ‘I came for my things.’
At first, I thought she was joking. Then one of the guys unplugged the washing machine with my wet clothes still inside. She carried it, the freezer, and the TV. I was too stunned to react. I didn’t even know whether to laugh or argue.
I mean, I didn’t put up any resistance because she bought them with her money, and they were really expensive gadgets. But the way she went about it? I’d only read people’s experiences online. I didn’t think it would ever happen to me. I also lowkey suspected she wanted to embarrass me, maybe make me beg. But I didn’t give her the pleasure. I even assisted them in packing and asked if she wasn’t packing some other items.
I wouldn’t do it to someone I had claimed to love at some point. But that’s just me.
*Names have been changed to protect the identity of the subjects.
Click here to see what other people are saying about this article on Instagram
Source: Zikoko | Read the Full Story… from Zikoko.com
