6 Women on The First Time They Loved Their Stretch Marks

I don’t remember the exact moment I started feeling uncomfortable with my stretch marks, just when they became visible enough for me to spot and squirm because of them. I was somewhere between 13 and 16. I’d taken ballet from age 3 to maybe 8, then stopped until I was 13. Going back meant stretching parts of my body I hadn’t stretched in years, and almost excessively. As a result, I had the most stretch marks on the back of my knees.

At first, it was fine, but when people started pointing them out and I got flooded with what women should look like in the media, I became more and more self-conscious about it. I’d rush into pools or walk to the pool steps with my towel and hand it over to a sibling, right before I jumped in. I hated wearing shorts and really short dresses. I was so, so uncomfortable with my cellulite and natural thighs. It all came together to make me feel unsettled in my own skin. I literally would have done anything to switch bodies.

As I got older and fell more in love with myself and what the true reality of being a woman is, stretch marks, cellulite, and a little pouch in my belly started to mean less and less. One, there were many more important and bigger things to worry about, and secondly, I genuinely started to see them as beautiful on other women. And the more I accepted the skin I was born in, the more I accepted its unique markings that society had taught me to hate.

This is the reality a lot of women experience: shame born from outside noise, then slow and steady acceptance. Sometimes, it’s sparked by a kind word. Other times, by a mirror, a memory, or a moment that shifts something inside you. I asked six women to tell me about the first time they loved their stretch marks. Here’s what they said.

1. Can you remember the exact moment you saw your stretch marks differently? Like, actually loved or accepted them?

Khadijat 27: I was in my uni room, scrolling through Instagram. Body positivity content was becoming a thing, and I was doom-scrolling through videos of women whose bodies I thought looked fantastic. Then I found out they were the same size as me, and they had stretch marks. But theirs looked beautiful. 

They were showing them off, and people were commenting about how much they loved it. There was so much encouragement. That day, I wore a sleeveless dress I’d bought but never felt confident enough to wear because it showed the stretch marks on my arms. I dressed up, looked at myself in the mirror, and I felt pretty. I felt like the women I saw on Instagram, and it felt so good.

Diepreye* 33: The exact moment I saw my stretch marks differently? I was standing naked in front of my mirror. It was a Saturday, and I was getting ready to go out with the girls. I looked at myself in a way I hadn’t before. I knew I was beautiful. All the marks and prints reminded me of how much I was a person, and that was totally okay. I truly felt beautiful in a way I never had before.

Nico* 22: I wouldn’t say I suddenly saw my stretch marks differently; I’ve always had them, so I just thought it was normal. But there was this conversation with classmates about how stretch marks were unattractive, and how no one really liked them. It didn’t change how I felt, though. I was in school, wearing my uniform, and I still didn’t feel like they were a bad thing.

Ruth* 26: The moment of acceptance for me happened in my second year of uni. It was a rainy night, and I had candles lit. I was drinking red wine and just sitting in front of my mirror. This is something I used to do a lot. Looking at myself, I thought, “I am so beautiful.” I accepted every part of me. I may not have loved all of it yet, but I accepted it because this is me. This is the only me I’m going to get. 

I just got to a point where I didn’t care what anyone else thought anymore. Over time, I came to actually love them. I don’t remember exactly when that happened, but now, my stretch marks feel like an essential part of me. If I looked in the mirror and didn’t see them, I’d be concerned. They tell my story.

Daisy* 39: It was one morning, maybe a year after my second child. I was in the bathroom rubbing shea butter on my stomach like I’d done for years. But this time, my daughter walked in. She was five. She pointed at my belly and asked, “Mummy, what’s that?” My stomach tightened. I expected her to laugh or look confused. Instead, she said, “It looks like lightning.” And she smiled. Lightning. That’s what she saw. Not shame. Not ruin. Just beauty. That moment broke something open in me. I looked at my reflection and for the first time in years, I didn’t look away.

Zee 24: I was 18 or 19 when I met up with this guy that I’d known since I was in secondary school. He used to date my friend, but she and I hadn’t been friends for years. He reached out to me, one thing led to another, and I found myself on his bed. We didn’t have sex, but we weren’t exactly clothed either. I was embarrassed about my stretch marks and tried using his blanket to cover up my legs.

He noticed that I kept doing that and asked me why. I told him it was because I didn’t like the look of my stretch marks. I can’t remember exactly what he said now, but I remember that he traced kisses down them, and whatever it was he said rewired my self-concept. He made me love my stretch marks in just one day after years of insecurity.

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2. Before that, what was your relationship with them like?

Khadijat 27: Before that, I was a big fan of jackets and sweatshirts. I would always bathe early or really late because I didn’t want the girls in my hostel (we shared bathrooms), to see me naked. In my early teens, I had stretch marks around my breasts and arms because I was chubby. I used to attend RCCG, and during camp, we’d bathe in pairs or groups. 

I vividly remember one girl pointing at my body and shouting, “What is that?” Then she told everyone else. They laughed, and one girl even said it looked like cancer. That stuck with me for a long time. I avoided shared bathrooms or dressing in front of anyone. I tried everything: Ytacan, Skineal, ori (shea butter), coconut oil, but nothing worked. So I stuck to sweatshirts and long sleeves, in every season. I only dressed freely at home with my family.

Diepreye* 33: Before that moment, it was a bittersweet relationship. Some days, I loved them. Some days, it was a struggle, especially when I wanted to wear clothes that showed my body. I believed they weren’t beautiful, that they were too much. So I took every opportunity to hide them.

Nico* 22: Like I said, I never hated them. It’s just something I’ve always had, so I didn’t think much of it. If anyone asked, I talked about them. I didn’t hide them, even when I went swimming or anything like that.

Ruth* 26: I first noticed my stretch marks in SS2 at school. At the time, in the senior classes, boys would laugh at girls who had stretch marks. It was a whole thing, and it scared me. I was a loner; I didn’t want to give anyone a reason to pick on me. I had stretch marks behind my knees, and they were very visible. That was terrifying. I wouldn’t say I particularly cared about them myself, but I was really worried about how other people would treat me because of them. 

I was also scared they’d bully me extra because I was slim. I’ve always been slim, and I guess I have stretch marks because I moved or exercised a lot; I used to walk a lot. I also had stretch marks on my bum and hips, but no one could see those. Still, I used to worry a lot about being judged for being slim and having stretch marks. I didn’t dislike them from my own heart; I disliked them because society did.

Daisy* 39: I hated them. After I had my first child, I would shower in the dark so I wouldn’t have to see my body. I wore wrappers around the house, avoided mirrors, and even avoided my husband for a while. It wasn’t just the stretch marks; it was how I felt like my body had betrayed me. Nobody tells you how loud the silence around postpartum shame is. 

And the pressure? Every auntie, neighbour, and random woman in church had something to say. “Ah, this your tummy never go back?” “You better start gym before your husband starts looking outside.” I started scrubbing my belly raw with exfoliants and rubbing anything anyone recommended, from toothpaste to lemon juice, and that black soap with potash. Nothing worked. Eventually, I just stopped trying.

Zee 24: Before this happened, I always felt so insecure about them. My sister used to have a lot of them, and I remember my mum used to buy creams that made stretch marks “disappear.” So, of course, my home life wasn’t a breeding ground for self-confidence. When my stretch marks started appearing, seeing the way my mum used to treat my older sister’s stretch marks like a defect, it made me also believe that I needed to get rid of mine.

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3. And since that moment, what’s changed in your body, your self-image, or how you move through the world? 

Khadijat 27: After seeing women with my body type, and even bigger, embrace their bodies, and seeing slim women with stretch marks that didn’t look ugly to me, I started becoming more comfortable. I wore what I wanted. I wasn’t the sweaty girl anymore, wearing full clothes under the hot sun. My style grew. I stopped looking in the mirror, checking for a new stretch mark every time.

Diepreye* 33: A lot has changed since that moment, especially in how I see myself. I see myself as beautiful. A work of art. My body is different, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Everyone is different. Love and self-acceptance have really evolved for me. I wear whatever I want, look however I want, and still feel beautiful doing it.

Nico* 22: Not really. I guess I’m just around more people who like their stretch marks than people who don’t. So it’s not really a big deal. As for acceptance, I’ve always accepted mine.

Ruth* 26: Since then, I’ve come to love them. Now, I see them as part of my body and part of my story. They don’t bother me anymore. There were times in uni when I’d worry that the ones near my bum would show under my clothes, especially at parties where I wore shorts, but I didn’t really go out of my way to hide them. Today, if I look in the mirror and don’t see my stretch marks, it would feel strange. I see them all the time; they belong on me.

Daisy* 39: I started wearing crop tops. Not all the time, but sometimes. Even started walking around the house naked again. I let my husband touch my stomach now without flinching. I still have stretch marks; they’re deep, long, and loud, but I no longer see them as a flaw. They’re a reminder. Of everything my body has carried, survived, and held. My daughter still calls them “mummy’s lightning” sometimes. And honestly? That alone makes me feel like a masterpiece.

Zee 24: After I started embracing them, I stopped trying to hide them. This dude from when I was 19 made me recognise that my stretchmarks were something to be proud of. My ex also used to call them tiger stripes. He’d say they were one of my best features. It’s funny how the thing that used to bring me so much insecurity became one of my proudest features.

Even now, when I look at them, I see wonders. I’m grateful to have been around people that made me feel a little more secure in myself. Now, I show them off when I can. And I encourage others to do so too. My stretch marks are sexy as fuck.

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