When His Wife Confronted Me, I Refused to Walk Away

He came into my life when there was zero going on in my life. Life was bleak and I didn’t know where the next meal was going to come from. I was selling but I could go days without making any sales. I was in their office to collect money from a customer who bought on credit when I met him. He told me he was Amponsah and wanted to buy some of the items I was selling. After the first encounter, I realized he wanted more than just to buy from me.

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He took my number and called even before I left the premises. A week after our meeting, he sent me money to put into my business. I was surprised. I asked if I needed to pay back and he told me he was sowing into my business because he wanted to be part of my success story. From that day, I opened up to him about how business was doing. He suggested I venture into something different, something that could sell easily so I could always have money in my hand.

When I decided on what to sell, he sent money again. What I was previously selling, I didn’t own the stock. I sold for others and got commission, but he said I should own my stock and plan how to sell them. The money he gave me was huge enough to begin from a comfortable place. He gave me ideas, lent his expertise, and later proposed to me.

The only problem I had was the fact that he was married. No man has helped me immensely within a short period than Amponsah. He was ten years older but that didn’t bother me as much as the fact that he was married. I asked him, “How about your ring?” He answered, “Leave that one to me, I can handle it.” When I asked how, he told me he knew how he was going to deal with it in a way that wouldn’t worry me.

I said yes to his proposal. A few months later, his wife was at my doorstep asking why I would date a married man. “Why won’t you go and look for your own? Are men finished on the face of the earth? The next time I come here, everybody will hear of us.”

“How did she know my house?” I asked Amponsah. He was equally shocked that that could happen. Honestly, I was scared. To be shouted at or forced to fight another woman because of a man. “You told me you’ll handle it so why did we get here?” I asked him. He answered, “Don’t worry, I’ll resolve it.”

Two weeks later, he rented a new place and decorated it for me. He said it was his way of apologizing to me. I told him I was scared and asked about the way forward. He told me he was happy that his wife had found out because it was an opportunity for them to have a conversation. According to him, he told his wife right from the beginning that he was going to have two wives and it was the reason he didn’t do a court wedding. If I would agree to be a second wife, he would talk his wife into it.

It was hard for me but I said yes to the idea of being a second wife. This man found me at ground zero and had become the reason life was bright again. I’d come to love him for the way he loved me and was ready to be with him, but I wasn’t sure how the whole thing was going to end. Days later he told me he had proposed the idea to his wife but she didn’t take it lightly. He asked me to be patient. He was very sure his wife would eventually succumb.

I had a call a few days after this conversation. It was Amponsah’s wife. She was screaming at the top of her voice, warning and threatening me to leave her husband alone. I was quiet throughout. She said, “You were lucky I didn’t come to meet you in that coop you call a house. He rented for you so you want to marry him. How cheap could you be?”

I understood her anger. If I was in her place maybe I would have done worse. She shouted, “As far as I’m alive, you’ll never be a second wife. Even if I will agree, it wouldn’t be you.”

I was hurt by the way she tried to denigrate me. I responded, “I’m not going anywhere. You’ll either make it easy for all of us or continue this fight forever. I’m not going anywhere.”

I cut the call and didn’t pick up any of her calls again. I called Amponsah and told him to get his wife off my neck. “You promised you knew how to handle her, how come I’m the one handling her now?” He apologized and promised it wouldn’t happen again.

This was three months ago. I haven’t heard from her again and anytime I ask about her from Amponsah, he tells me things are under control but not totally resolved. We’ve dated for two years and a few months. So far so good. The only problem we’ve had came from the issues about his wife. We haven’t fought. I’ve worked hard to turn his investment around, something he tells me his wife has never been able to do, though he had set her up three different times.

She’s a housewife. It looks like she likes it this way, staying home and being provided for. Amponsah doesn’t have any problem with that but he wants more. He gets that extra from me. He’s ready to go and meet my parents. But I know my parents will ask questions about his wife. I want us to be able to give them good news – that his wife is at peace with the arrangement and is ready to accommodate me. When that is sorted, I wouldn’t have any more reason to wait. We’ll go home to make it official.

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I’m at a place in life where it’s no longer about the money. He’s helped me enough. He has put me in a place where I can stand on my own feet. I can leave him today and be fine because he’s laid a good foundation for me. I love him. It’s the reason I don’t mind becoming a second wife. I never dreamt of becoming second to a first wife but here’s a good man. He made it possible and it’s worth the wait.

—Abrefi
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