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If you haven’t read the second part of this story, here’s the link. Kindly read it before starting this one.
He shipped things quarterly to us. He shipped toys I thought the boy didn’t need. He sent game consoles and TVs and learning materials. He told me he wanted the boy to have a childhood he didn’t have. He was trying hard to replace the lost moments, I could tell. Whenever he sent items and we went for them, this boy didn’t sleep. All night he would stay up counting on the night to end so he could play.
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My ex would call on a video call and I would give the phone to the boy. The two would stay on the phone for almost an hour. It was awkward at first. It was him doing the questions and the boy would give straight answers but each time he called, I realized the time they spent on the phone got longer and longer until you could hear both of them burst out laughing.
One day he asked his father when he was coming back and he responded, “Do you want to see me again?” The boy responded, “Yes, I want to see you again.”
Five months later, he was in Ghana. He came when the boy was on vacation so they could have a lot of time together. He came for him and brought him back a week later. I liked it that way because it took him, I mean my ex, out of my way. One evening when my boy had returned from his father he asked me, “Dad tells me he wants us to live with him but you said no. Don’t you want us to become a family?”
To be honest with you, I got very angry. This wasn’t a conversation we had to involve the child. It felt like he was setting me up to become the bad person. I called him when the boy slept. He swore it wasn’t his intention to involve the boy. They were only having a conversation. I made him promise me that it was the last time he would bring that topic up.
He wanted the boy to visit him abroad during their long vacation. When he told me I got triggered. “You think I’m a small girl? You want to take him and not bring him back, right?” He was shocked I could suspect that. He said, “Ow, how would you think that of me? Look at how far we’ve come in these few months, you think I’m capable of doing that?”
He sent his father to continue the conversation with me about taking the boy with him for their long vacation. His father told me, “Take it as I’m the one coming for him. If anything goes wrong, hold me responsible.”
My ex’s father had this aura. Whenever he spoke to me, I had no option but to respect his words. I told him I was scared. I made him aware my life would come to an end if that boy left and never came back. He told me, “Rest assured my daughter. Do you think I can lie to you considering everything you’ve been through?”
So I held my boy’s hand and escorted him to the airport when the time came. When he left my hands, it felt like a piece of me was gone. The feeling was the same feeling I had when my mom died. I cried a little. I was scared like hell. When he got there, they called me on video. Every other day, I was on the video with them. My son had only one sentence, “Mom, you should come here. It’s very beautiful here.”
Even before my boy returned, my ex’s father called me consistently asking us to have a conversation. He wanted my physical presence but I knew what was coming so I kept postponing the meeting. One day he came over unannounced to catch me sleeping. We talked. Obviously, it was about marriage to his son.
I shook my head. I told him my mother’s spirit would be very angry if I said yes to that proposal. He responded, “I don’t think your mom will sit on your happiness. My son has gone through a lot. Two marriages, none of them worked. Don’t you think the universe prepared a place for you in his life?”
So, he married a white woman and the marriage lasted for only two years. According to his dad, he married for papers but later wanted the marriage to work beyond the papers but he couldn’t make it work. It was the lady who divorced him. They had a child together which he said the white lady doesn’t allow his son to see.
He came to Ghana to marry another woman and took her abroad. When the lady got there and her documentation was sorted, she left him. The marriage lasted for five years but they never had a child. According to his dad, it was intentional. The lady didn’t want to have a child for him knowing her plans. After telling me the story, he said, “Don’t you think he’s been through a lot to learn his lessons? At least you two won’t start from zero. There’s already a son.”
After listening to the whole story, I got angry in my spirit. I was like, “I was here suffering but he was there falling in love and out of love without thinking of the girl he got pregnant? I put my future on the line for him but he was out there swimming in love.”
I told his father, “I loved him when I was a girl but that young girl who loved him and was ready to put her future on the line for him is no longer alive. I don’t think it will work.”
His father responded, and I think this was the turning point for me even though I didn’t accept it then, “I’m happy that silly child died. Who’s a boy that you’ll put your future on the line for? The good thing is, that silly boy who got you pregnant and put a finger on your lips is dead too. He didn’t have beards, did he? Both of you have matured. Bury the corpse of your past and correct the fault now.”
I became softer when he called. When I was on the phone with him I didn’t want the line to die. I asked about his day and asked about his plan for the next day. When it was time for my boy to return, I asked him, “Are you coming with the boy or he’s coming alone?” He answered, “If you want me to come with him, I will.”
So, in 2023, I was at the airport waiting but didn’t know who I was eager to see, the father of my son or the son of my ex. While my son ran to hug me, I was looking at my ex, wondering why he wasn’t running to hug me. I hugged my boy like he had been gone for years. My ex was standing there like a tree wondering if he had been cut so short that I didn’t see him. When I let go, I said welcome to him and we took a car home.
He spent only a week here. The night before he left, he came around. I told him what his father said. I asked about the two marriages that didn’t work and asked him to be honest with me why they didn’t work. He said, “I married the white woman for documents but I came to love her and wanted it to work. She divorced me because she saw through me that it was the document I wanted.”
I asked about the lady he took abroad too. He said, “It was the same trap I set for the white lady that caught me. That lady also married me for papers. She left when she was fully sorted.” I asked him, “What about me? What would you marry me for?”
I think my question shocked him. He didn’t see it coming but if he had mentioned he was doing it for our son, it would have been the end of the conversation. I didn’t want to marry him because we had a son. I wanted a deeper reason than that. He answered, “We were children and made mistakes. We are grown up now. Not only that. We have matured. We can do it again, this time in truth and in love. I don’t even know if I’m making sense.”
How The Death Of Our Son Nearly Brought Our Marriage To An End
I smiled. We hugged. We got married in March 2024. We left Ghana in July same year. We had our second child in May 2025. I think it’s working. No regret or whatsoever, just bliss and contentment and regret that my mom didn’t live long enough to witness my mistake bloom into a beautiful garden of flowery stories.
—Maame Aba
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