He Lied His Way Into Marrying Me So I Would Take Care of Him

There’s an Update to this story. If you want to read what happened after this, Kindly follow this link 

My pastor recommended him to me as a diligent man I can study and see if the future could work for us. That’s what usually happens in our church. When you’re single and you’re open to meet new people, the church through our pastors recommend people you can get to know. So it wasn’t strange when Foster was recommended to me.

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When we started talking, I told him I had a child from my previous relationship that didn’t work out. He said he already knew it because our pastor had mentioned it. Once that was out of the way and he didn’t have issues with it, I was open to continue with the talking stage to see how things would go.

He told me he was working in a bank but had resigned to do his own work. He also said he was preparing to go into ministry and it was the main reason why he had to find a new job that would make his ministry dreams come easy.

We talked about education too. He said he graduated from the University of Ghana with first class. I told him about my qualifications too, a university graduate with several other professional certificates.

Apart from his love for me, he loved the church too. He was first in the church for everything. If we had to go and clean, he would be there first. If we had a program, he was the first to be seated.

I introduced him to my son one Sunday after church, before I knew it, he was helping my son to do his homework. After the homework, they talked about school, his friends and his favorite teacher. I was in the kitchen listening to them laugh and occasionally make fun of what was on the TV. When he left, my son came to ask me, “When is uncle Foster coming back?”

So Foster came often to see my son. His job situation was a little worrisome to me. He was concentrating more on the ministry than his personal work he told me about. I asked him, “If you need help, let me know. If I can, I will. Even if it’s financial.”

Later he told me he was partnering with another man to open an agency so they were working on it. He took me to their new office when it was ready. I met his business partner and he also talked about the progress of their partnership. From there, anytime we talked and I asked where he was, he told me he was at the agency. One afternoon, I closed from work early and told him I was passing by. He told me they were out in town doing negotiations so I should wait for him if I got there before him.

I was there for almost two hours before he came with his partner. I sent them food and drinks. I sat with them for a while and left.

Seven months after knowing each other, we decided to get married. We told the pastor who introduced us and he also communicated to the church to make it official. That day, the whole church prayed for us and our story was used as an example of a union God has chosen.

The red flags started showing when we started the wedding preparations. I woke up one dawn and thought about the whole thing and told myself, “Adwoa, this is danger. Walk away from everything before it explodes in your face. What kind of man is this?” A few minutes later, I found myself talking myself into it, giving myself excuses.

This is what happened…

Anytime we had to part with money, he would turn and look at me. Even if it had to do with little money. He would talk about his money that was stuck with clients and ask me to give him a loan that he would pay later. I paid for his suits, paid for his shoes even before I paid for my wedding dress. By the time we stood before the church to exchange vows, I’d paid over eighty percent of the wedding cost.

He said they were loans he would later pay which I knew very well he would never pay. Even the night before our wedding, I was still asking myself if I was making the right choice. I cried but I’d gone too far to disappoint everyone, especially my parents so I went on with the wedding.

We had to rent a new place because where he was living was too small and mine wouldn’t be enough for the three of us. We needed at least a two bedroom house so my son could have a space of his own. The day we were talking about paying the rent, he turned to me and said, “Just pay it. My money is almost here. I will refund.”

I paid almost GHC20,000 for a year’s rent. By the time we were moving in, I had nothing left in my account. I was broke because I fell in love with a man I thought I could build a future with. Once we were settled in our new place, I realized every morning I would get ready to go to work, he would still be in bed. “Foster, are you not going to work today?” I would ask him. He would give me all the excuses in the world including, “There’s nothing much to do in the office these days.”

He changed along the way. He would wake early in the morning, dress up and leave the house even before I did. Before I would return from work, he would already be in the house. My returning time was usually 6pm. I felt he owned the job so he could close anytime he wanted just to get home early.

Three Months After Our Breakup, He Got Married

So one late morning I went to the office with sickness. I thought I could get through the day but later I started getting dizzy. I decided to take the rest of the day off. I called him to tell him how I was feeling and he even encouraged me to try and last the day. When I left the office I didn’t tell him. I got to the compound and heard music coming from the house. The air conditioner was on and I could see light in the bedroom. “Ah, is he back from work already…?

PART  2 COMES AT EXACTLY 11AM TODAY

—Freda
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