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My son’s teacher calls me to check up on me. She does this at dawn, around 5:00 AM before she goes to work. The other day, I missed her call. She called throughout the day until I eventually picked up.
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“I was worried about you,” her sultry voice filled my ears, “Why didn’t you attend the PTA meeting?”
I didn’t know what to tell her except that I was busy. While I appreciate that she cares about my child, I don’t know why she insists on communicating with me about him when she could have easily directed all her queries and concerns to my mother. She knows the boy doesn’t live with me, he lives with my mother. So why does she bypass her?
I want to ask her if it’s out of goodwill or if she has other motives. It’s just that I don’t want to offend her. Also, I don’t know how to go about it. I am a shy person.
I am not equating shyness to goodness but I am a good guy. I have always been calm and respectful to everyone around me. I am the kind of person parents advise their children to look up to. I don’t talk much, so you’d barely find me arguing with someone.
When it comes to women, it was my intention to marry the first woman I’d date. As a teenager, I watched my peers do the whole boyfriend-girlfriend thing. I didn’t join in. I waited until I was ready for marriage.
Ruth and I were supposed to get to know other other better, and then get married. Fortunately, she got pregnant before the marriage happened. I will explain why I called it a fortunate event as I go along.
I am by no means saying that I was a perfect boyfriend. I only did my best to show her how much I loved and cherished her. When I visited her, I did house chores. Even when there was no occasion, I bought her gifts. Every time we had issues, I was the one who apologised for the sake of peace. It didn’t matter if she was at fault. I would apologise.
She felt I was too good to be true. Sometimes she did crazy things to try and test my loyalty. There were days when she planned with her friends so I could meet one of these friends in a hotel so she could accuse me of cheating. I never fell for any of it.
During our regular conversations, she would say things that should worry me but I always let it slide. For instance, she always said she would never support a man with her money. I was the only one providing in the relationship so her comments never got to me.
The only thing that delayed our marriage was money. With the birth of our son, I had to redirect the savings for marriage into taking care of both my baby mama and the baby. So the plan was to wait till things became stable.
While I thought we were on the same page, Ruth left me three years after our son was born. She didn’t take the baby along. It was the most heartbreaking moment of my life. Thankfully, I had my mother to fall on. She took my boy in so I could keep working and provide for him.
Earlier this year, Ruth came back looking like a deflated balloon. She apologised for everything. I still had some love in my heart for her. After all, she is the mother of my son.
We were living together before she left but when she returned, we agreed that I would marry her before she’d move in. I was busily making preparations for the marriage when an acquaintance told me, “Your fiancée is cheating on you.”
I didn’t believe the person until they arranged for me to catch her red-handed. Guess who I caught her with? My own cousin.
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That day, I cried. I am talking about bloodshot eyes and a runny nose. I am a grown man but I cried like a baby. She brought people to apologise to me. Her parents and her siblings all begged me to forgive her and take her back. I forgave her but how could I have taken her back? In what world do I marry a woman who cheated on me with my cousin?
We are no longer together but I still provide for her. I am doing it till she stands on her feet financially. As for my son, I am glad I didn’t take him away from his grandmother when Ruth came back.
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I am doing my best to heal and move on. I didn’t see myself getting involved with another woman anytime soon. But Enam, my son’s teacher, is acting all motherly. The other day she called to ask me, “Have you eaten?”
Is it normal for a teacher to be this interested in a parent’s life? I don’t want any confusion or blurred lines. I wish I could boldly ask her, “Madam, are you just a nice person or you are in love with me?”
—Clement
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