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If you haven’t read the first part of this story, here’s the link . Kindly read it before starting this one.
He presented the story from a place of hurt, so I can understand certain omissions. It’s not altogether my fault that everything happened the way it happened. He had a part to play and didn’t admit his part or be accountable where he ought to be. Now let me set things straight for all of us to know what really happened.
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When he proposed from the beginning, I told him about my mother’s dislike for his tribe. We are three girls. My mom sat all of us down right from infancy and drummed home the need for us not to come home with any man from that tribe. She was serious and very stern. “I’m telling you ooo,” she would say. “So you don’t go and fall in silly love and waste your time. I won’t accept him. Even if you marry one when I’m dead, I will haunt you until you run from that marriage.”
I told him all this, but he was in love just as I also fell for him along the way. He told me my mom hadn’t met a good person yet, so when she meets him, she would change her mind. I knew it wasn’t possible, but I let things go because I was also viewing the whole situation through the spectacle of love.
We started having issues after the second month of our relationship. This is one thing about Kalou: when he’s angry, all words of apology wouldn’t calm him down. He would give you the silent treatment or ghost you for days. Until he’s calm and ready to talk to you, nothing you say will work on him.
I walked on eggshells around him because I didn’t want to hurt him. Whenever I did something wrong and he was hurt, I involved all my friends in the apology process. At a point, my friends advised me to leave him. I loved him, so I allowed what my friends told me to be a lie so what I felt for him would be true.
One day, he told me he wanted to meet my mom. Our relationship was only seven months old. I said no to him, and from that day, he started accusing me of having another man. He said I was lying about my mom’s hatred for his tribe because I had another man my mother knew. He believed that to be true, so whenever we had a misunderstanding, he used that against me. He would say, “I’m the one wasting my time because you already have someone your family knows about.”
One day after a fight when he brought up this same issue again, I told him, “Yes, I have another man, so leave my life alone.” He called all my friends and told them that he had been vindicated—I had accepted that I had another boyfriend. He swore in front of my friends that it was over and prayed never to meet an ingrate like me. Yes, he called me an ingrate.
Then he ghosted. His house wasn’t far from my hostel. Sometimes he passed right in front of my hostel to his house, but after a fight, he would cease all communications and do everything just to avoid running into me.
When you have empty spaces in your relationship, you automatically invite other people to fill up the spaces for you—people appear to have what it takes to fill up the empty spaces. That person for me was Sam. He started pursuing me even before Kalou came along. I didn’t like Sam because he was also a student. I wanted a mature person, and Kalou was that mature person. Ironically.
When he ghosted, I started entertaining Sam because that guy never left the scene. Talk about care. Talk about security. Talk about love—Sam had it all for me. Whenever I was heartbroken, I went to him under the guise of wanting him to teach me a topic so he could help me heal. But when I went to him this time, I was so sure it was going to work because Kalou was out of the picture. I said yes to Sam. I didn’t know how that was going to work out, but I said yes.
Kalou ghosted for one month, three weeks, and four days. Yes, I counted the days. All the while, Sam was doing great things in my life. By and by, day by day, I was getting rid of the memories of Kalou and filling them up with the new memories I was creating with Sam.
One evening, I received a text from Kalou. He asked, “Are you home?” I read it and didn’t respond. He texted again, “I’m coming around. We need to talk.”
When I read the message and lifted up my head, I saw him on the way coming. If he hadn’t seen me that way, I would have told my friends to tell him I wasn’t around. He came to sit next to me. He asked, “Do you want to tell me that’s how everything ends?” I answered, “You ended it. So you have to answer that question.” He said, “Then it’s not over. We are going to resolve our differences like two mature people and act right as we go along.”
I laughed at him. I told him I had someone in his place already, so I couldn’t admit him. Maybe he took it as a joke until I gave a name and told him how far we had gotten. To piss him off, I told him, “I just came from his place. We even knacked!” Again, he thought I was saying things just to piss him off or just to push him away.
He spoke to my friends, and they told him the same story, so days later, he told me I should leave Sam and be with him. He said the truth when he said, “I know you’re with him because I left. Now I’m back.”
I still loved him, though he hurt me all the time with his disappearing acts. And he might have realized I was awed by his presence because he saw the softness in my stance, how I mellowed when he was around, and the way I chatted with him consistently. The one you love always knows the button to press unless you hide that button. I didn’t have any place to hide my buttons, so he kept pressing and pressing until I told him, “Ok, I will let him go, but please give me some time.”
If there’s someone I wasn’t fair to, it was Sam. Sometimes I feel I’m going through all this hardship because of how I treated Sam. It’s my punishment for hurting a good person. I went to Sam’s place to break up with him. He never knew I had Kalou, but because I wanted to expedite the breakup, I brought the story of Kalou up and lied about how my parents wanted me to marry him. I told him I came to him because Kalou misbehaved.
He was hurt, but he couldn’t stop a moving train, so he told me it was ok, he would step aside, but we still could remain friends. I agreed. That very moment, we had our goodbye knacking.
How The Death Of Our Son Nearly Brought Our Marriage To An End
The pregnancy hid in my body until it was three months old. I had my menses correctly and right on time, though I was always feeling weak and nauseated, but I didn’t think it was pregnancy because my menses were on time each month. One day, I broke down while with Kalou, and he drove me to the hospital. After a series of tests, I was told I was three months pregnant. I didn’t believe it. I told them I’d never missed my period, but I couldn’t change what was in the result. When I stepped out of the hospital, I gave the result to Kalou, and he screamed, “Jesus! What are we going to do?”
PART 2 COMES UP TODAY AT EXACTLY 17GMT!
—Kalou
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