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I dated Fiifi for a year without any trouble. We were fine, had a beautiful relationship and were always in each other’s space. We didn’t have money but love was enough for us until I caught him cheating. I was broken for days. I cried even. But he was there, determined to make the relationship work. He said sorry but didn’t promise he wouldn’t do it again. Regardless, I forgave him in the name of the love we shared.
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I caught him again. And then again. And then again. With the same lady. Instead of an apology, he came out clear to sell me his truth, that he couldn’t leave the lady. He said the little fragrance and material things I was enjoying in the relationship were made possible by the other lady so there was no way he could leave her. He told me I’m the one he truly loves so I shouldn’t leave him.
I said no. I insulted him and asked him what he took me for but in the end, I stayed. I loved him too much – leaving him felt like a sharp pain in my chest. I thought instead of leaving him and feeling pain, I would rather stay but fight for my ground.
He was there for me when I needed him. Actually, he treated me like I was all he had. The other lady was secondary. He didn’t see her often. The lady didn’t visit him as often as I did. She never slept over the way I mostly did. The knowledge of her presence worried me but I didn’t feel her presence physically.
Andy pushed his way into my life. He had everything Fiifi didn’t have; money, appearance, care and a lot of love to give. I said yes to him, not knowing what I really wanted with him.
Andy was very intensive. He needed me around him often and was always on the phone with me when we weren’t together. I gave Fiifi excuses. A lot of excuses for him to know that something had changed. He asked what was going on. I told him his girlfriend made me uncomfortable sometimes so I’d decided to keep to myself.
He wasn’t a fool to be fooled. He did his own investigation and found out about Andy. He read our messages and listened to some of the naughty voice notes I sent to him. Come and see this guy, it was as if a dagger had been plunged into his heart. “Who’s he? What does he give you that I can’t give? Why are you doing this to me? I thought you loved me?”
He asked the same question in a million different ways but I couldn’t find any answer to give him. While he paced up and down like he was about to meet his own death, I kept asking, “What is wrong with this guy? Is he not the same person who has another woman apart from me?”
He asked me to let Andy go so I asked him, “Would you also let the other lady go?” He answered, “I thought we agreed on that lady?” I answered, “Yes we did but it doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt that I know there’s someone else.”
He told me he would let the other lady go and I also gave the same promise to let Andy go. I could have let Andy go if Fiifi kept to his promise, instead, he lied, he concealed his ways and made me look like I was asking for too much. I caught him with that lady who he had told me in plain words that he had let go. When I caught him he told me I should let Andy go first. I answered, “There’s no need arguing over this. Do what pleases you and let me also do what pleases me.”
That was when we agreed without agreeing that we were going to keep our side pieces and still stay with each other. Whenever we got intimate, he made it look like he was in competition with Andy. He would do things he never did to me and later ask me, “Does he give you all these? You see I’m doing all that because I love you?”
To be honest, I enjoyed who he had become because of the competition. Andy didn’t have time to be with me because of his job. He traveled so much I believed he had a family somewhere that I didn’t know. Even when he was in town, I could only meet him when he wanted to meet but I didn’t complain because he gave bountifully and ensured I didn’t need anything. I only had to tell him.
Whenever he traveled and was coming, he got me new things. He changed my phone twice in seven months so I gave the old one to Fiifi. When I had money from him and Fiifi needed help, I gave him some. This arrangement went on for over a year until on my twenty-sixth birthday I decided I needed to make a decision. Fiifi and Andy were both at my birthday. Andy sponsored the birthday. Fiifi came to eat but he couldn’t stand the PDA going on so he left.
My friends were angry with me. They said I was playing with fire and gasoline. I decided to settle for Andy and let Fiifi go. Right after the birthday, Fiifi started giving me attitude but I didn’t mind him. When he didn’t call, I didn’t call. When he didn’t text I also didn’t text until one evening he came around to tell me, “The other woman is out of my life and this time it’s final so you should also let the other guy go.”
I looked at him and told him the truth, “I’ve decided to be with him instead. He hasn’t done anything to me so I can’t leave. It was you who cheated on me though you said you loved me. You’re the one to go.”
We had this conversation three weeks ago. He promised to do everything to destroy my relationship with Andy so he could be the one. He comes to my place unannounced, even at dawn just to check if Andy is there. Maybe he’s tracking me in the dark so whenever I’m going to meet Andy, I get scared. I look over my shoulder. Sometimes I enter wrong places to see if Fiifi would spring up a surprise. If I don’t see him after several minutes, I get up and leave for Andy’s place.
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It’s too much work but the mistake is all mine. I kept him for far too long when I should have run away the first time he cheated on me.
They say what will be will be so I won’t rush anything. I will bide my time and see what happens. If he’s able to destroy me and Andy then it means we were not meant to be in the first place. And there’s no way I will return to him, Fiifi. I will rather use the period ahead of me to reflect, learn and bounce back in love again, this time, trying my best to make the right decisions.
—Nora
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