My Husband is Using The Scent of Alcohol to Destroy Our Marriage

My husband calls himself a social drinker, a side of him I never knew until now. We dated for two years, but a whole year was a long-distance relationship. We have been married for almost two years.

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He returned from a wedding drunk. I was shocked. What made me angrier was the way he behaved while drunk. Late at night, he threw up in the bed, destroying my night and my sleep.

In the morning, while he was sober, I asked questions. I took it as his first time ever, so I advised that he shouldn’t do it again, especially since he couldn’t handle it well.

He did it again and lost his wallet. We talked. I pleaded with him this time not to do it again. He did it again and misplaced his car keys. The last time, he came home without his phone, telling me he had been calling me but I wasn’t picking up. Meanwhile, he didn’t have his phone on him.

I’ve involved his parents. They too were shocked by this turn of events. They’ve spoken to him. Only yesterday, he told me, “Stop making the world think I’m a drunkard. Do you see me doing it every day? I do it only for social reasons. Stop embarrassing me.”

I don’t even know what it means to do it “socially,” but from all indications, he has chosen this as the hill to die on. I hate it. I hate the smell of alcohol, especially the mouth odor the morning after. I throw up because of that. I’ve had to sleep in the hall because he was blowing ‘fuse’ all night.

It’s a young marriage. We have nothing in our name. Leaving wouldn’t be a problem, but do you think it will be too soon for me to leave? I don’t want to hope for a change that will never come. For all you know, there are women out there who love their men this way. I don’t want to waste his time, and I don’t want him to waste mine either. What do you say I should do?

—Lucy
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